Making things and why I feel a bit of a fraud at some stuff

I have always felt somehow...not very artistic? or very crafty? For two reasons. Because I can't paint. And I can't knit "proper" things ( like cardigans. Or gloves. Or socks.)

My older brother is a talented artist who has made a living from his talent all his adult life. This left me being "the clever one" with him being " the arty one" But my feelings of  inadequacy as an artist ( until recently) will be the subject of another post, another time. Suffice it to say no, I can't paint pictures BUT I CAN craft things, scultpt, make paper, weave, sew, make pots, baskets etc. AND  people pay me to teach them to do so.

But knitting. Ah knitting. Well I do feel a bit useless on that front.

My Mother, my MiL, all my school friends Mums all knitted really well, effortlessly turning out socks, jumpers etc etc. It was a skill I took for granted that I would learn how to do as well, one day, when I was a bit older. Indeed my Mum DID start to teach me how to knit,  when I was 9, so I can now still knit all the stitiches and I can cast on and cast off, increase and decrease. My granny (Mamgu) also taught me, especially crochet ( which I have completely forgotten) and French Knitting ( which I can still do!)

BUT I have no idea how to read a pattern. I was never taught this bit as my mum became ill just as we were about to get on to that bit of my knitting lessons. After she became ill and was no longer around at home to be my Mum, life was too busy and horrible to have time for knitting lessons, so I never really came back to it. Not that there was anyone to teach me. And then I got older, and I still didn't know how. And then I got older still, and I had money to just buy stuff , rather than making it. And, indeed, I had money because I had a good, well paid, time consuming job so I didn't have time to knit anything, even if I HAD known how!

 And then I got even older, and it seemed too late to learn.

But now I have Compostgirl, who is wanting to know how to knit. She is about the age I was, when my Mum taught me. And scary thought, I am about the age my Mum was, when she had her first stroke...

So really, I HAVE had to remind myself of all the stuff I once learned. So I can pass it on to her. But I still don't know how to read a kntting pattern.

So....I guess it is time to find out how to read that pattern, after all. It is never too late, is it?

Any suggestions for good websites?

( and yes I am aware of the subtle and not so subtle interconnections and links to feelings about my Mum and her unwittingly leaving me with unfinished knitting issues, and my need to not replicate the same thing with Compostgirl.)